I’m here on my bed, thinking of how to battle an addiction I just recently admitted to myself, and thinking I shouldn’t be addicted to checking my stats like every hour(It’s not the addiction I mentioned a line above this one) . 

I’m also thinking about some articles I read in two blogs early this evening. Growing the amount of people who visit your blog in a daily basis. One that seemed to stay with me was the one of arguing, or talking on controversial topics . I want people to comment and discuss on my blog alright and that’s apparently the key. 

Okay, so what’s controversial enough to arouse an argument (hopefully) from you? Since I read it this afternoon, it’s been in my mind but I can’t seem to think of anything controversial, but since I wanted to write about something either way, I’ve decided to talk about books and movies. 

Yeah yeah, you’re probably rolling your eyes now, but anyway, I’ll go for books not movies. I guess it’s that way since overall I prefer books to movies. Anyways, why? It’s the imagination really. While I’m reading a book, I can be told this guy is five foot eight, hazel eyes, black hair, and all. I’m told all that, but I let myself chose the shade I want, how ugly he is going to be if the books says he’s ugly, and how fine he’s going to be if the book calls him handsome. 

In fact, it is in that situation that our imaginations run away with us the most. Once he is tall and handsome, he doesn’t even have to be dark. We already have what we want in our mind. That’s even a reason why I don’t really like book covers that put the face of  man or woman as the book cover. It quite annoys me, especially when I already have the perfect image in my mind. 

I prefer it when it’s just from the chest to legs, or knees to legs, you know, let the face just not be there. That’s another reason why I don’t like watching movies after I’ve read their novels. I’ll just criticize the whole cast and acting in my head, and I don’t like that. 

If I’ve watched the movie first , okay,  at least I’ve got a face to identify with the names.

Okay, what else? I’m also thinking of advertising this blog on my instagram but I’m thinking, it’s going to be mostly friends that would see it, and you know, the criticism and stuff. I need to get over that thing where I can’t do something and posting it without thinking what the thoughts of the viewers would be. It’s not a palatable thing, but it’s hard to control. It just comes. 

I thought I got over it one time but it came again, and I realized I was just trying too hard. Like, telling yourself not to think of something, you’re invariably thinking about it. 

Thinking about this has also got me into thinking I need to accept myself, work on where I need to work on, and live life, not based in anyone’s criticisms. 

Is there anyone that really is secure? Like fully secure of everything? Your place in life? The people you love? The work you do? Afterlife?  I don’t think so. I think we just lull ourselves into believing we do. 

I know that insecurity is a daily of life but accepting ourselves is still the key to being happy with ourselves. I’m telling you this as much as I’m telling myself. 

I’m listening to Let me Love you, by Dj Snake featuring Justin Bieber. The song has been in repeat for long now. 

Also, Scars to your Beautiful by Alessia Cara is also a song I love listening to, and want you to listen to it you haven’t. Accepting yourself and all. 

Fact is, we’re all ugly to someone, too short to someone, too big to someone, too small to someone,  too stuck up to someone, but what they think don’t really matter. At least we shouldn’t let it. Live your life, free from the criticisms we seem to let cage us. Some person is going to love that thing you think is not worth loving.

 

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