She sat in the bank of the ocean, holding the ring, and thinking about memories.
For so long, she hadn’t allowed herself the pleasure of thinking back to all that had happened with Joe, her husband, who had died five years ago.
A new start, they all preached, but it wasn’t easy. She had, since he died, always being on the move, never wanting to have a free time for fear that she would begin thinking of him and then break down.
She didn’t break down crying. Not in front of people, or with herself.
At least that was what she tried to tell herself. She had padlocked the hurt inside of her, watching as all his clothes were packed away, and cleansing the house of everything he owned.
At least that was what she made people think.
She had done that. To an extent, but she couldn’t make herself throw the ring away.
How could she?
It was the ring. The very tiny thing, that held for her, memories. Memories of all that she had shared with him.
There was no way she could throw all that away. No way she could throw her ring away, but now, now was time for a new start.
All the time people saw her doing one thing or the other, active, and smiling. they believed she had gotten over him.
But how could she have gotten over him?
He was the only one that ever understood her.
He was the one who made her feel like she was the most special woman on the earth.
Who didn’t slap her sins to her face.
Who never hit her back even when in his angriest period,
Who made passion explode in her body,
Who made her feel things no one else aroused in her,
And they wanted her to let go easily.
But it was time, and it was what Joe wanted.
Being a fireman, he had always told her that he could die anytime. He had always told her that he wanted her to be happy, not mourn him for the rest of her life.
She had never wanted to think about it when he was alive, and always kissed him when he begun talking about death, because the truth was, she was scared. She didn’t want to think about her life without Joe in it. It always looked bleak.
And it was.
Even after five years,
But she was ready for a new start.
She knew that throwing the ring in the ocean, which she had been prolonging since she arrived, wasn’t going to throw all the memories she had of him, but she was ready for a new start.
There was no way she could forget him, but she couldn’t keep holding on either.
With that though in mind, she took the tiny ring, tears blinding her eyes, and attached it in the rubber that was with a stone, and stood up.
She closed her eyes tight, and threw it.
She opened her eyes in time to see it drop into the water.
Unlike what everyone had told her she would feel after doing away with the ring, she felt none of it.
She didn’t feel peace, or joy to a new start, as they all said.
She only accepted, and embraced the fact that he was gone, not to come back into her life anymore.
She wondered, how long it would take, for her heart to accept that he was never going to come back.
With that thought still ringing in her head, she stuffed her hands in the pocket of her jean shorts and begun walking towards the place she parked her car.
This is dedicated to everyone that has lost a dear one, through death, or through a break up, or divorce, and has decided to embrace life, as bleak as it may seem without them.
This is my response to the daily prompt, tiny. Did you like it? Feel free to comment any thought you have concerning the post.