I wasn’t going to post today, was even thinking about taking a break from posting for two days, but I’ve never been one to stick to schedules, so any thing can happen. 

Regardless, here I am. 

I’m… Down? Today? 

Nothing really happened.  Just one of those days when you feel down… 

Now that I think about it, I think it’s about a guy friend of mine. 

So I and this guy met while I was last year in an examination hall when we were to write an exam for our entry into the university. It’s called Post UTME here. 

Anyway, we really hit off. As friends I mean. I’m an anbivert, so me being very comfortable with him at first meet was quite… Comforting. 

We met last year July, and after I finished with my exam(I was writing for law, while he for business administration) , he came up to me and asked for my number cause he wanted us to continue talking and all. 

After that time, I had to go back to school for some other external exam and being in a boarding school that phone wasn’t allowed, we didn’t communicate till around… August? 

Anyway, when I messaged him when I was finally at home and about to begin processes for my admission into the university (for diploma 2. Sort of like A levels, except that I enter straight to two hundred level if I pass the exam set), it was very smooth, no hurdles, regardless of the time we didn’t communicate.

I get… Attached to people easily. I mean, if I like you, either as a friend or something more, I get attached (I don’t know how else to explain it).

So we talk a lot, and though we haven’t ever seen each other physically anymore since then, we have spoken and fought, and all. 

However, lately, we haven’t spoken. 

I still like him. As a friend, but it seems like…

I don’t know really.

Now the kind of conversations we have is the kind where I’m like… How are you? And he’s like… Bored, and I’m like okay, then how is school, and stuff, and it..just doesn’t come freely anymore. 

Sometimes I want to talk to him, but I don’t because I really cannot endure another shit chat.

Now that I think about it, it’s probably cause we haven’t seen each other in so long and been surrounded by other people so its not so easy to talk anymore. 

I feel like I should message him, but I also feel like he wouldn’t give a fuck if I didn’t. He probably would, but awkward conversations is not stuff I look forward to.

It’s probably not what’s bothering me. 

It’s probably about the admission list that is set to come out anytime now and trepidation about my name not being there even when I passed very well above the cut off mark set.

Or maybe it’s just some warning from my gut thay something is going to happen soon. 

I don’t know. 

How is your day going? Better than mine I hope?