She sat on the high chair, her drink in her hand, and staring into nothingness. She wondered if this was how it was going to be forever. To feel that anguish in her heart. To feel like there was no need to remain on earth.
She had gone to several group counseling despite how much she hated it. They said it would get better with time. That she should try to be among people. To surround herself with people at all times. That she shouldn’t be alone for a long period of time, lest she be consumed in her thoughts.
That was the reason she was here. At the beginning of the month party organized by the office. Trying to surround herself with people, but it wasn’t helping.
She felt a hand on hers and she turned to see Zac, a colleague of hers who had been very supportive all through.
“How are you feeling?”
The concern that was clear in his eyes made her want to tear up.
She nodded tightly.
“I want to go home. This isn’t doing me any good.”
He nodded and looked around before he looked back at her.
“Are you sure?”
She managed a tight smile for him.
“I’m fine Zac.”
He nodded. “Okay”.
She stood up, about to go when he came to her front and hugged her tight. She reciprocated it, and had to force herself not to cry.
After they released themselves, Zac looked into her eyes.
“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
Her throat clogged as she nodded.
He took her hands in his and they walked outside to her car.
“Call me if you need anything okay?”
He said as she entered her car.
She nodded and waved him bye as she left.
She entered her room and didn’t bother putting on the light.
Wondering if this was how it would be.
The now familiar feeling of been alone.
The loud silence in the dark.
The echo of misery that reverberated in the house.
She wondered if it would really change.
Suddenly, her world had become nothingness.
She had the warning.
It didn’t mean she was prepared.
She wasn’t prepared to feel this way.
The emptiness in her heart.
In her soul.
She wondered if it would really go away.
Sitting on the bed,
She put her hand to her heart and pressed it.
Wanting to lessen the ache that seemed like it was forever etched there.
She didn’t know it was possible to feel like this.
The anger had passed.
Now, what she wanted was to understand why.
Endless times she had replayed the whole relationship.
Deep down she knew he wasn’t satisfied with her.
He knew she wanted someone more like him.
A fancy company work.
Less excited about physical relationship,
But she thought it was working.
She thought he was beginning to like her.
To accept her for her.
She touched her hair that she had cut,
Just because he said he liked a short hair.
In an effort to be someone he loved.
Her friends said she should be happy he was gone.
That he never appreciated her,
But she still wanted him.
She couldn’t help it.
She still loved him.
THE HEART WANT WHAT IT WANTS
Hi everyone, this is my response to the daily prompt echo.
Did you like it? Feel free to share whatever opinion you have concerning the post. I would appreciate it.
So many of us has been in her situation, both male and female, loving someone who doesn’t appreciate us for who we are, but try to change us to their definition of what is perfect for them.