​”Would you?”

I swallowed, and looked back at him.

“What?”

He shook his head, and stood up. 

“Why do you keep doing this to us?”

He asked. 

I didn’t know why. 

This had been going on

For a year now, 

And though we were lovers alredy, 

I could never bring myself

To say yes. 

He was the best guy I knew. 

I was probably making a mistake. 

Saying no. 

But I couldn’t do it. 

I really could not. 

To say yes. 

It was terrifying,

And whenever he asked,

My mind chose the time. 

To remind me of my parents marriage, 

And all the other ones I knew of in my family. 

I had long since stopped dreaming 

That it could change with me. 

I looked at him, 

And his eyes were down. 

I touched him on his shoulder, 

And he flinched. 

Horrified at his reaction, 

I reared back, 

Surprised. 

“Don’t touch me Ann.”

I swallowed convulsively. 

I was beginning to feel my eyes water,

And my cheeks begun to shake. 

I had always refused him, 

But he always took it in stride, 

And said I was going to warm up to it, 

That he would wait for me. 

But it didn’t seem so now. 

He stood up, 

And I had to fight the desire

To pull him back down, 

And plead with him to wait. 

To wait till I was ready. 

He was the only constant in my life, 

And I could feel it already slipping from my grasp. 

He turned to face me,

And I looked up at him from where I was seating. 

He looked up, then down again.

“You are letting me go again, because of history.

You have the power to change it. 

I want to be with you, 

And prove to you, 

That we can be different, 

But you don’t want that, 

And I can’t force you. 

I wish you luck Ann, 

And I hope, 

That if you come across any more opportunities, 

You don’t run, 

Just because you’re scared

To take that plunge”.

With one last glance at me,

He turned,

And begun walking away. 

His words begun to circulate in my head. 

And I was shaking all through. 

Tears were pouring now,

And I knew what I was giving up,

Might never be in my grasp again. 

“Andrew.”

I called out to him, 

And stood on shaking feets. 

He turned, 

Walked a step towards me, 

And stopped. 

I understood. 

It was my time to make a move. 

I walked, 

My feets shaking, 

Towards him.

He was patient. 

And  was looking at me with a heated, 

But encouraging gaze.

It was going to be good.

I told myself with every step. 

This was going to be the change. 

I was going to take that plunge, 

And trust him, 

That it would work out. 

I reached him, 

Expecting him to reach out,

But he did nothing. 

My heart beating, 

I took another step to him, 

And looked up at his face. 

I put my hands in his, 

And we held each others hand,

In a tight vice. 

It was a moment. 

And slowly, 

I begun to feel happy, 

And light headed. 

I was doing this. 

It was right. 

“Yes.”

I whispered to him.

He brought his face down to mine,

And kissed me. 

He was sealing with me, 

I knew. 

A future. 

————-

WE HAVE LOST A LOT JUST BECAUSE WE ARE SCARED OF THE CHANGE THAT TAKING THAT PLUNGE WOULD CAUSE, BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND. ALL THROUGH LIFE, CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT. BEING STATIC, WOULD NEVER LET YOU GO AS FAR AS YOU CAN. 

-femiiesther 

———— 

Hi hi hiiiiiiii 

I hope you all are doing well. I’ve been MIA for a while here, and it’s because of school. My exam comes up next month, and while it feels way longer when I say “next month”, it’s really in a couple of days, so I have to do more reading. 

If you liked the poem make sure to say so in the comments section to let me know, and feel free to give whatever feed back you’ll like to concerning the poem.

I’m more active on Twitter. Let’s be friends. My username is femiiesther. 

How are you all doing? Any other person with exams coming up?  

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