I made my first almost permanent trip away from home in 2009, when I was to resume high school. I was 9 years, to clock ten the next month. We resumed early September. I don’t remember much from that time, but I know I was happy to leave home.
I led a…a different childhood. The first word that came to mind when I wanted to type that sentence was “restricted”. That I had a restricted childhood, but I thought it over, and decided against calling it that. If I described my childhood, I’m very certain that particular word wouldn’t be far from your mouth. It was later on I begun to see it as that anyway, and now, I just prefer to think it as different. No two children are raised the same way.
I never went out as a child (if I went out now it would most likely be without my parents consent). Not for birthday parties, not for sleep overs of any kind, nada. The only places we (I and my siblins) ever went to were the houses of relatives. We went to restaurants sometimes too, and the beach, probably once in every five years (kidding… But we didn’t go out much). The thing was, if they were with us, then nothing could go wrong. I think that was their belief.
My parents are serious Christians, and they don’t believe in worldliness. It’s vanity, and by worldliness, I mean doing secular things like going to the cinema, e. t. c. Secular music is not also listened to, and that is what is mostly played in these birthday parties (it was only until I entered S. S. 1 that I really begun to hear secular songs) anyway as I was saying, they didn’t like us listening, and it’s obvious that’s what’s going to be played, so we aren’t allowed to go. Our doctrine doesn’t let us girls wear pants, and in these parties, that’s going to be the universal dressing. Even if they wear a skirt, it’s going to be a short one matched with leggings, or ones that are short. Period.
In these parties, the parents have probably done the hair of their kids, braiding it with attachment, or using weavon, or had just jelled it. We were naturalistas. You aren’t to alter anything with the way God created you, and retouching you hair, or adding anything qualified as that (my ears are not pierced for that reason) .
We also didn’t hang out with other kids. I asked my mum a few years back why it was that. She said something that meant we didn’t have the same beliefs, so hanging out with them might make a joke of all the work they had done on us for years.
There are a lot more, but for fear that you will begin to think I had an awful childhood, I will stop here.By the way, I didn’t. I had a very beautiful childhood. I just need you to have an insight on what I am about to talk about. You see, I was raised this way, knowing there was a different way to go about growing up, but that thought was never left to explore until a few years in boarding school. It was my own normal, and I didn’t see it abnormal.
My parents are loving, and made sure we got all we needed. We got beaten, but it never exceeded what was normal, and it was only when we did a very serious wrong. They loved us, we loved them, and we lived in our own cocoon of goodness. I know the reason why we were taken to a christian boarding school was to keep us in that belief, and not be able to explore the thought that anything laid outside our cocoon of goodness.
However, different people were coming, from different homes, and it wasn’t to remain same. Now, what I want to talk about. I was happy to leave home. It was this kind of exhilarating feeling. I didn’t know what to expect, but I liked it already for the reason that I wasn’t going to be at home.
I liked living outside home. We had to be of good behavior because it was a Christian school. Two times in the week we went to church (Sunday’s and Wednesday’s). On the Assembly each day we are preached to. On Friday’s there was a minister from the church that came to preach to us. We had prayer meetings. You get it.
I think it is as a result of all these and more (food? I liked the food by the way. They served us well) that made people live for the time for holidays. They couldn’t wait. Some even feigned sickness so they would be taken home ,(this used to be so funny.😅), and if we were going home in a month, people begun to pack two weeks to that day. Going home was a thing of joy, and not that I wasn’t happy to be home, I really just preferred it in school. It wasn’t like I had friends who were just so spectacular. Actually, there was never anyone you could identify with me. I just talked to most people, and didn’t have anyone I was particularly close to (until S. S 2. Grade 11), so it wasn’t friends. I just liked being in a habitat different from home, and when I was home, I longed for school.
After I finished secondary schools, I begun to apply for universities, and thankfully I entered university the same year I finished, so the stay at home was only for a few months, and I was back living in another habitat, only this time, I was more independent.
As I was used to the conservative lifestyle, I continued that way, which isn’t like most in my place. Apparently, there’s the need to now let loose, and go experience everything you were restricted (there’s the word again) from. Binge club going, and just changing 360, then changing back when you get home, or be rebellious to them and stick to doing what you want.
I preferred to be conservative. Stick to my novels. Now, despite this, I preferred to be doing this, on my own. In Secondary school, I absolutely detested going home. I was mostly not at peace with my mum. We fought constantly (argued), and it wasn’t until S. S 2, when I gave her my piece, and we talked it out, that things begin to get better. Despite this, I still liked being alone. At least now, I could just decide to go home if I had spent like two months without seeing them, also, I also know my mum needed company. My other siblins are in boarding school, so she’s mostly alone at home cause dad comes later than she does from work, and while she might cook or read her Bible to pass the time, I know she also would like company, and I offer to come home.
I like it that way. Offering to come. Just staying for a weekend, then going back to resume my life. Coming home wouod sometimes be a delight as I offered to. Sometimes I was guiltied to coming home, and depending on my mood, I could be really annoying for that weekend. By annoying I mean just doing my thing, minding my business basically. Cooking when I needed to, doing whatever it is they ask me to do, but I do it in a zombie way, and I’ve lived with them long enough to know that it’s one sure way to get on their nerves.
So yeah. Now. I don’t mind coming home. I’ll just rather do it on my terms. I am a good child, and they see my little annoying ways as big because they haven’t experienced living with a “teenager”.
I’ve always being different from my siblins. My sister, the one who follows me, is the most jovial. She is all smiles, and she gets over things easily. I parents would speak to her, and she would go to them, kneel in front of them, hug them, and try to smile about it. My brother is shy to outsiders, and he’s the one I know that loves the house most. He is a mummy’s boy. He’s a little like me. When beaten, he goes inside, but when he’s done, he comes out, and all is well.
For me, once they spoke to me and I went in, for the rest of the time I was home, it wouldn’t be fun. I would basically just do as they bid, but I wouldn’t smile, and if I laughed, it would be obvious it was forced. I will be in a sour mood although.
I’ve changed anyway. After the talk my mum and I had that time in S. S 2, a lot of things changed. She pointed this out as well, and I made an effort to actually try not to act like they couldn’t scold me, cause they said I acted like I must never be scolded cause if how sour my mood became.
I’m a long way from how I was, and I know there’s no getting there finally. Thing is, most of the time, I’m not mad at the thing I was corrected for. My mood is just dampened, and I don’t want to make the effort to smile or act jovial when I not feeling it.
When my siblings are home, I know they prefer them more. There are no hard feelings about it really. It’s just about pleasantness. You would prefer one who is more pleasant than one whose mood changes like the way Nigerian weather changes (faster actually 😅), but yeah. They love us all, but when one is being moody and you don’t understand, you don’t exactly like the person at that time.
Yesterday, mum said I was a snob. I told her I didn’t think so, and if she thought so, she should have told me, so I know how to improve. She was actually a bit embarrassed, but we dropped it there. Oh… Something about me that not too many people like is that I defend myself. If I have an opinion about something you’re saying, especially when it’s referring to me, I’ll say it, and until you’re able to prove your point, we’ll keep on with it. Sometimes when I don’t get the point, I say, look, leave it there, but know I don’t agree with you. You haven’t proved your point, so I’m going with a no on the matter. A girl actually told me yesterday that I always had to go differently in what anyone was saying. She said this goodnaturedly though, but my parents have also mentioned it as well. It’s true🙈
So I’m done with that.
I’m supposed to be on my day 5 of the ten day you challenge, but I didn’t post on day 4 mainly because I was very highly discouraged with my blog. I put so much into the blog. Time especially, money for data, and it also gets annoying as the network I use is a very poor one and doesn’t show in some many areas, like my dorm(Glo users Hola!) so I was just down after I checked for the notifications on the last post I had done (Day 3). It didn’t affect me as much before, but lately, I have decided to work more on the blog, and I spend so much time on it I really have to sleep when I’m done. As a result, it’s not fun when you do stuff and you don’t see the result, but I’ve already made up my mind I’m not going to quit. I’m going to keep writing, and I’m going to make up for the days I have missed.
I really don’t want to begin to give stories, because I know everyone works on their blogs, it isn’t easy for everyone, and no two blogs grow at the same rate, so I’m going to keep working.
Thank you for reading!
Don’t forget to like, comment (naturally 😊)
Oh! And I did Bantu knots. Naturalista friends where y’all at? I might even do a blog posts about it. Here’s a peek.
I look quite different, but I like it (not so many do, but who cares right?! 😜). I’ll put a picture with my face in it if I eventually make a post on it.