I heard of her death, and it was a big shock. She was my senior in school. I didn’t know her personally, but I felt that blow to my guts. 

My heart rate increased as I tried to understand what the “R. I. P” meant. My eyes begun to feel blurry, and I felt the beginning of a head ache. 

I checked another person’s status, and I saw a good night poem. 

I checked Instagram.

Her last post was in May, 

Just last month, looking so beautiful with her made up face. 

Her teeth was shining, 

Her smile was real, and bright. 

I couldn’t reconcile the R. I. Ps I saw, with her. 

Surely she couldn’t be dead. 

I checked another person’s status, and I saw…What would (insert university name) be without you? Tell me this isn’t true. 

And suddenly, I begin to feel a certain anger at all the R. I. Ps

Tell me. 

What are they for? 

Is it to show sympathy? Because it sure as hell does not. 

She can’t see it! 

I see my other mates, 

That were not close to her in secondary school, also putting R. I. P, with the stupid crying emoji. 

She can’t see it! 

Don’t do it! 

Stop it! 

My head was still pounding.

I checked her University Instagram page. They had posted her picture. With a R. I. P just under. 

Since most here are firm beliefs in the eternity of Heaven and Hell, it’s either she is currently resting in peace, or not resting at all, 

And that thought, 

Leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

As the breath was snuffed out of her, her forever life started. Her rest begun, or not. 

No amount of R. I. P written could change anything, 

But it’s probably just their own way, 

Of showing sympathy.

Like how saying sorry is bitter in the mouth, 

When you really can’t help the situation. 

But you feel obligated, 

To say sorry. 

When my Gran pa died, it was just there. 

I did see him twice a year, 

And he was my gran pa, but when he died, it was just that. 

Death. 

I was finding it hard, 

To reconcile her pretty face, 

With a body, 

That was beginning to get crusty. 

And that was it. 

What then is this life? 

What is this life? 

Do we just come here? 

Then have to go? 

What are we here for? 

The Bible says…

To spread the word of God. 

But why? 

Why are there the ones.

That don’t know that word. 

Why are there the ones, 

That has to be preached to. 

What is life? 

Isn’t it better one isn’t even here, 

Because the pain of loss, 

Runs deep. 

You know something? 

Once a person dies? It’s over. 

It truly is. 

The ones that knew you only for a while, 

Will feel the blow of your death, 

But not for so long. Just for a few minutes, 

And it’s not really you they think about. 

It’s death. How sudden it is. 

How one person seems so full of life today, and the next, he is no more. 

The ones that were closer, the family, the boy friends, the siblings, would feel your loss for a longer time, 

But then, 

It all passes. 

Every once in a while, 

They think of what your reply would have been to a situation, 

But eventually, you fade away. 

You’re still in their minds, 

But it’s accepted that you are gone. 

The Instagram page that put R. I. P under her picture? There’s another post, celebrating anothers birthday. Just minutes after.

It’s like an obligation no one really wants to admit.

You feel compelled, 

That now that she’s gone, 

Your last respect, 

Is needed. 

Same for the ones that put you on their status. 

A late respect of sorts, 

But I hate to see it. 

I hate that nothing can be done to bring her back. 

No amount of R. I. PS. 

What am I saying? 

The same R. I. P, 

Signify she’s gone. Really gone. 

She was a sickle cell. 

The white of her eyes were sometimes partly green, 

But for so long,

She was full of life. 

But no more. 

What then is this life? 

Death? 

Is it to come here, 

Then die? 

What is the purpose of living?

Is there really anything to life? 

———–

When I hear of deaths, I ask myself questions. I ask myself why. 

Why people have to die. 

You. Yes, you. You’re special. You have so much to offer to this world. You may not think it, but in your little way, you make impact. 

You are going to have a bright future. Just because now seems so bleak, doesn’t mean it will be that way forever. You are good. 

Remember, you make your own definition of the word “Great”.

—————-

The cause of her death has not being confirmed, but I suspect her body couldn’t take it anymore. She was sickle cell.

—————-

Have you had someone close to you die? Or someone who isn’t even close, and you begin to wonder what this life is all about. 

Feel free to comment your thoughts on the post.

The questions I asked at the end aren’t exactly rhetorical. If you have any answers, make sure to say. Please. 

—————

If you’ll like to participate in the word prompt I am hosting and have your chance to feature on this blog (next Monday the third of July 2017), check this post. 

The word prompt is BOXES, and you will send your response to the word to my email (femiiesther@gmail.com), of which one out of all the bloggers who send their responses will feature on my blog next week Monday.

If you have any questions on it, make sure to ask so I answer. 

Thank you for reading. 

How are you all doing? 

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